My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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