some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize