Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
