Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i think my cat just said my name.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
