awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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