im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
this just has baby written all over it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
