Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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