id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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