The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got chris browned last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
