If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
