the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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