I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
