So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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