I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
