it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
