Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
