I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
