I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
