I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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