You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
