ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's great music for shaving your balls
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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