I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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