the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
