Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize