i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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