I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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