She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I am available for nakedness
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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