just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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