i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
