Define "chronic" masturbator.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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