it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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