you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
