no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
