Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
