Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
