Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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