I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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