I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
