Cold hands, warm shart.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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