I think my vagina is haunted
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
