Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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