One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize