Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
