what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
