dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
