My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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