Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize