So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
