I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
