holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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