Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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