new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize