i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
