HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my shit smells like andre
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
