I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
