He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
