Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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