so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
