yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
