The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
whose parrot is this?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
