Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
