i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Two words: blizzard sex
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
