Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
