FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize