His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
