it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
