i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
