Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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