Who wears a wallet chain?!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
